The Best of Times, The Weirdest of Times: Part II

2. The Christmas Miracle

I love all those sappy Christmas movies that feature animals, always so cute and cuddly, teaching kids the “true meaning of Christmas”, whatever that means. Well, the real story is not so cute and cuddly.

We had just driven 3 days from southern CA to Houston TX to spend Christmas with Melissa’s family, and it was through a blizzard. I thought New Mexico was all sand and heat, but apparently not around Christmas time.

Her sister and bro-in-law attend Christchurch Baptist Fellowship in Houston, and we had been meaning to drop in and see the pastor again, because we hadn’t been able to work out an open meeting date to present our ministry. So Christmas morning we got up, got ready (which in and of itself was a Christmas miracle, with 8 young kids staying in the house), and went outside to drive to church when we ran into the first hiccup of the day: our van door was wide open. Oh yes, and it was POURING RAIN.

Turns out the handy feature on the key chain that opens the door remotely isn’t so handy when you leave it lying on a table where toddlers can get to it and play with it!

We mopped everything up as best we could, jumped in the car, and headed to church without further incident. When we arrived, I went to the back of the van where my suit coat and ties were hanging up, threw the tie around my neck, and promptly started gagging. Fumes were assaulting my nose, my eyes were tearing up, and my tie was wet. I thought, “Did someone spray my tie with gasoline??”

I quickly found that my suit coat and all my ties all smelled the same, and it wasn’t gasoline: it was CAT SPRAY. We found out later that a big fat tom cat lived right around the house, and must have found our warm open van too tempting an offer to pass up. That, or my personal hunch, he was an agent of Satan sent to buffet me. Not unlike the rest of his kind. Are you seeing a pattern with cats yet? Wake up and smell the ammonia people… they are evil incarnate.

I then spent the next couple minutes (and church was about to start) picking out the least stinky tie, and rubbing hand sanitizer on it to try to kill the smell. I only partially succeeded, judging by the lack of interest by the church members in shaking my hand or spending time chatting with me.

The coat and ties were completely ruined, as most likely was any shot of getting support!

So as it stands, the deputation score is Cats 2, Scott 0. Stay tuned for part III of the weirdest deputation moments!